This last year was busier than usual. At first I thought it was due to the fact that I was busy dating and then got engaged. Then, on a whim, I decided to count the number of committees I was on. Thirty. I laughed right out loud. “No human being should be on 30 committees!” Before the day ended, I had dropped five of them. I deleted several more a few days later. At each stage, the day seemed more cheerful and I felt lighter. The committees went right on in my absence, without skipping a beat. I became painfully aware that unless we carefully craft our lives, they become crafted for us – by those who need us, want us, or wish for our presence around a committee table. I cannot be everywhere, nor am I that important. What IS important is that I am where I am supposed to be. Knowing where that is takes a lot of thought and prayer. A lot. It also takes careful consideration of my gifts, passions, and values. Just because I would like to do something does not mean I should do it. To make it worse, people sometimes argue when I use that tiny little, but distinctive, word, “No.” For example, one time I said, “I’m sorry I can’t be there because I fly out of the country that day.” The response was, “Really? What time is your flight?” In my naiveté I told the person and she responded with, “I think you can still make the meeting.” I am embarrassed to say that I attended it, all the while wishing I were packing. I wouldn’t do that now. Life is too short. Life is ALWAYS too short to be that busy – so pressed for time that you can’t help a friend or love a pet. Where did we get the notion that serving God meant working all the time? Staying so busy? Who do we think we are serving when we do that? Not God.Perhaps the gods – the voices in our heads that propel us forward and make us believe that we are worth more if we are more busy. The gods that tell us not to rest because in resting we will hear a Different Voice – a Voice that will shatter everything we believe to be valuable, a Voice that will speak quietly but persistently until we stop….and rest….and realize that in stopping and resting there is salvation.
Another email comes in while I write this blog. Another request for me to be on a committee. I said, “No.” And now I close the office to go home, wishing I had said “No” sooner and to so many other things.
